Say something
by Jokess
Summary: Meulin/Kurloz sadstuck, one shot song-fic thing that takes place not long after Kurloz accidentally deafens Meulin. Inspired by the song "Say Something" by A Great Big World (feat. Christina Aguilera)


Jokess- This one is all my sister's fault! All of the fault is HERS because she played "Say Something" by A Great Big World (feat. Christina Aguilera) on Pandora and the angst and drama breathing writer that I am HEARD and just ran away with the idea. SO IT'S ALL HER FAULT. Blame her for not putting #trigger warnings on her music...or...something.

**Say Something**

The frantic beat of her fists against his chest, each blow a drumbeat which echoes the rhythm of his heart. Yes, heart, not a fucking 'collapsing and expanding bladder based organ' or however the hell it was her allies referred to the heart. The day she was the Mage of Collapsing and Expanding Bladder ANYTHING would be the day she started to hate shipping. And, as angry as Meulin Leijon was today, she was not about to hate shipping. Ever.

The sound of her sobs soon joined the beat her fists and his heart were playing, the myriad of sounds each taking the place of an instrument. Her tears were the piano, each drop a different note weaving complex, but ultimately downbeat melody. Each hitching breath, a clarinet or saxophone or bassoon solo that would drown out the melody for the briefest of moments. That, or join in with it, making music that seemed almost silent in its loudness.

Add to that the trumpet calls of her nose blowing, and Meulin was a, nearly, complete one woman band, and her melody was screaming to Kurloz:

_Say something I'm giving up on you_

_I'll be the one if you want me to_

_Anywhere I would have followed you_

_Say something I'm giving up on you_

But her matesprit wouldn't answer. He just stared at her for a moment, equal amounts of pity and love in his gaze while his stitched on smile laughed at her. And though her one woman band of fists, tears, breaths and nose blows only resounded louder and harder, Kurloz didn't speak. Not really. He just held up his hands and began to sign:

_And I am feeling so small_

_It was over my head_

_I know nothing at all_

_And I will stumble and fall_

_I'm still learning love_

_Just starting to crawl_

His apology, if that's what it could be called was not what Meulin wanted. She wanted to see him speak, not with his hands, but with his mouth. She would never hear his words, whatever they were, but she would know he had spoken them. She would know Kurloz, her matesprit, the person she loved more than anything or anyone in the whole of reality, hadn't done THIS to himself because of her. What had happened that night was never his fault, and though she had told him such time and time again, her pleas had fallen on deaf ears. The irony was not lost on Meulin, and it made her whole body 'sing' louder. And it sang:

_Say something I'm giving up on you_

_I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you_

_Anywhere I would have followed you_

_Say something I'm giving up on you_

Kurloz remained silent, that awful, grinning, maddening and somehow terrifying smile stuck on his face as he dropped his hands and stopped signing, making his silence complete.

Meulin couldn't be silent though. Her one woman band of hysterics silenced her words, but they could sing better than her words ever could. And though they sang a different sort of tune this time, the words were honest and true. And though they broke Meulin's heart, the words had to be said. And so they were sung:

_And I will swallow my pride_

_You're the one that I love_

_And I'm saying goodbye_

Meulin had made her decision, and immediately regretted it. For, just as soon as her fists, tears, hitching breaths and nose blows came to a stuttering stop, Kurloz's lip quivered. It wasn't much, but it was something, a tiny, but significant, sign that she had gotten through to him. Too late, yes, but she had.

Or so she thought. And then Kurloz lifted his hands again, fingers ready to sign. Even without words, even sign laguage ones, Meulin knew what that meant. And, though she had readied her heart for this pain, she wasn't nearly well enough prepared. So she did the only thing she could, she closed her eyes. And though she couldn't see the words Kurloz signed, she knew what they were because her heart was singing them too.

_Say something I'm giving up on you_

_I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you_

_Anywhere I would have followed you_

And so there they stood, Meulin not so silently crying into Kurloz's chest while Kurloz comforted his matesprit for the last time. And since her eyes were closed and her ears useless, Meulin would never know that the liquid falling down on her face were not her tears or Kurloz's, but his blood

Later, Kurloz would restitch his lips, and apply some heavier make-up to hide the healing wounds so that no one, least of all Meulin, would ever know he had spoke, much less what he had said was:

_Say something I'm giving up on you_

_Say something I'm giving up on you_

_Say something_

Jokess- Okay, I'm going to go cry a pool or something now. Thank you for your time, goodbye and don't forget I don't own Homestuck or this song . And as always, read and review!


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